Rules For A Safe Halloween

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When it appears that you have killed the monster, 
NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language 
which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will 
save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will 
probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This 
also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it 
alone.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would 
apply to any other house of the dead as well.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and 
find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for 
short circuits; just get out]
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a 
good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure 
you know what you're doing.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down 
at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are 
running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still 
moving fast enough to catch up with you.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic 
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, 
increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which 
are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog 
(you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda 
Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not 
go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If 
you think that it is strange because you thought you had a full 
tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and 
most likely be eaten.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is 
the time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses 
that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some 
horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic 
practices in your house.
  -- Rules For A Safe Halloween

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